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Michelle Obama‘s daughters are now in their 20s (yup! Makes you feel old, right?) and her role as a mom has not only changed in the physical sense (Malia and Sasha now live 3,000 miles away in California), but in a logistical sense. On the first episode of her new podcast, The Light Podcast, the former First Lady spoke to The Today Show anchor Hoda Kotb about her recent title change.

“I’m on the other side of parenting,” she said. “I’m moving from mom-in-chief to advisor-in-chief.”

Think of it as going from being a director of operations to a consultant. Michelle is still there to offer guidance when called upon, but she isn’t managing the day-to-day. Of course, the change is bittersweet, but Michelle has found the silver linings.

“That’s a lovely thing to be able to watch my girls fly and have the relief that, ‘Okay, I think I didn’t mess them up.’”

She is now making a conscious effort to “greet” her kids with what she feels rather than what she sees. There was a time, she said, when Malia came into her hotel room and was actually — unbeknownst to her mom — looking for a steamer.

“Whatever she had on was very wrinkly,” Michelle shared. “I was like, ‘You’re wrinkly. You’re going to do something about this.’ And she’s like, ‘Yeah, mom, I’m going to…’”

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