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To pay or not to pay your live-in college student daughter for babysitting your younger sons, that is the question… at least for this reluctant Reddit dad.

Taking to the platform’s “Am I The A—hole” forum, the dad of three explains that his 20-year-old daughter, who is currently in college, lives in his house rent-free. He writes that his only expectations of her are that she help out with cooking and cleaning, and that she occasionally “watch over her younger brothers since I may be busy with work or when I need a break to hang out with my girlfriend.”

As to why he’s resorting to Reddit for advice, the dad shares that his daughter told him “she feels I’m putting too much of a workload on her back,” but he doesn’t understand how that could be the case. “She told me she’s okay with cooking and cleaning around the house, but having to watch over her siblings was annoying & stressful and that it’s taking away from her studies,” he writes.

He continued, “That pissed me off because I myself went to school while having to pay bills & take care of her as a baby alongside my ex-wife. I told her she was acting very privileged and that if I could do it, so could she. She didn’t like that very much and stormed off into her room.”

We wholeheartedly aren’t here for the dad’s bad take on why his daughter should have to watch her younger brothers without complaint. The key difference between him taking care of his kids while in college and her taking care of his kids while she’s in college is that they’re his kids. She didn’t sign up for being a parent and going to college at the same time, and it’s unfair for her dad to try to use his own experience as leverage against her.

Reddit dad continues to share that his daughter confided in his sister, who called him out on his BS. “She told me not to compare my situation to my daughter’s since apparently I put myself in the position I was in back then which I guess is a fair argument,” he writes, continuing, “But since she is living in my house rent free and I’m paying for her college, I feel that in of itself should count as an allowance. So I just wanted to ask whether I’m wrong for not wanting to pay her extra money to do basic chores.”

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