Reddit is rallying around a mom who took to the “AITA” forum to share a very unpleasant interaction she had with her husband over the kids. The Reddit user explained that she has two kids (11M and 10F), and her husband has two daughters (18F and 15F). Her partner is a strict parent and protective, she said, but has a good relationship with her children.
Recently, the wife had a doctor’s appointment and left her two kids home alone in the house. It ran long — and when she returned, she found her husband there, furious. He called her an irresponsible parent for leaving the children home alone because they’re young and “couldn’t care for themselves.” She argued that they’re not that young and could look after themselves for a few hours. He was irked that she “talked back to him.”
“My husband said he had enough, and told me that from now on I have to stay home if he’s not, before going upstairs,” she wrote. “It took me a while to cool down – I was really mad. But later I started wondering if he’s right, since my kids could still have gotten into trouble. AITA?”
Many of the responses came to the same conclusion: her husband should never have spoken to her that way. “NTA for leaving a 10 and 11 year old alone if you as their parent felt they were mature enough to handle it,” one person wrote. “But holy hell the rest of your post is throwing red flags up regarding your husband. Angry at you for ‘talking back’? Telling you when you are and are not allowed to leave the house? Huh?? Is this typical in your relationship?”
Another added that they weren’t concerned by the fact that the OP went to the doctor and left the kids by themselves but were concerned by the husband’s response. “I was not weirded out by leaving the kids for a bit. Heck my parents did that all the time for an hour or so to run to the store when us kids were that age. Even got to spend some hours alone after school. But OP’s husband gives me chills…”
Many, many people took (rightful!) issue with the fact that he snapped at her for “talking back.” That’s a red flag right there, in and of itself. They reinforced that she, as the children’s parent, can trust her own instincts when it comes to whether or not they should be left alone in the house. “NTA you know your children and if they are responsible enough to be left. My eldest wasn’t at that age, my middle one totally was, and my youngest at 11 is,” someone noted. “What is worrying is how your husband is dictating when you are allowed to leave them, and what you are allowed to do. He is not YOUR parent and doesn’t have any rights to order you to do anything.”
The OP is absolutely not TA in this situation. Also, if it was so deeply concerning for the husband that the kids not be left alone, he could have approached the situation entirely differently and with a whole lot more kindness, respect and genuine willingness for a calm, two-way conversation.
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