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Pregnancy causes all the feels — even in those not carrying the new baby. A recent mom-to-be found that out the hard way when her mother-in-law had an emotional outburst at her daughter-in-law’s gender reveal party, and Reddit thinks the pregnant mama is actually the one who needs to apologize.

In the “Am I The A—hole?” subreddit, a 31-year-old woman who is 7 months pregnant, wrote about how she yelled at her MIL over a baby-naming tradition, and it’s super sad all around.

The pregnant mom started off by explaining how she and her husband decided to have a “later” gender reveal, due to being busy with a honeymoon and buying a new house. “We both decided to throw the reveal at my MIL’s house and invited a LOT of people, my family his, friends and some even coworkers of my husbands,” she wrote, basically everyone they know. So keep in mind, the whole situation that follows happened in front of a huge audience.

“My MIL has a family tradition that dates back many generations, naming the first born (fake names) Diana if the first born was female and William if it was a male,” the pregnant mom continued. “My husband was not the first born and isn’t named William, so I didn’t think the ‘traditional’ naming would be passed on to us.”

But, everyone knows what happens when you assume! You make an a—out of yourself at the baby shower, apparently. “Little did I know that it would because MILs first born died too young to have kids and the naming tradition passed to my husband,” she continued, adding, “I was always hesitant to follow the tradition because I don’t like the names and they are very old and I don’t want my kid to get bullied just because of a dumb ‘tradition.’” I completely understand wanting to choose your own name for the baby, but it seems like this should have been something discussed with both your husband and mother-in-law before the gender reveal announcement? It definitely calls for a private, heartfelt discussion.

“When me and my husband revealed the gender of our baby my MIL became extremely sensitive and cried a bit because it was the same gender as her passed child,” the mom wrote. Which is extremely understandable! Again, pregnancy brings up a lot of emotions, and seeing her daughter-in-law pregnant with a baby girl would understandably make the woman emotional for the daughter she lost.  

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